Our group of University Bound Girls of 2013 are learning and growing in more ways than one. They are learning essential skills of the workplace and how to interact with a wide variety of people at the workshop. And they are learning life skills by leaps and bounds as they share a home and their daily lives with one another. I went to their home on a sunny Sunday, and spent the afternoon with them, laughing and eating and just spending time together.

All eleven of the girls stay in a small two room house near the Sseko workshop, and they’ve managed to make these two rooms feel like a home. Each girl has arranged her personal belongings on and around her bunk, with mosquito nets draped around the room. When I arrived and slipped my shoes off at the door, I was greeted with squeals of delight and hugs all around. We welcomed the afternoon breeze blowing through the open door, with a curtain blocking the hot sun.

Knowing my favorite Ugandan meal is rice, they had it boiling away on their charcoal stove. We sat around the room cutting up eggplant and tomatoes, and Lillian and Robinah spearheaded the lunchtime cooking, sauteing the vegetables in a small pan and mixing it with the rice. During the week, they explained to me, that groups of 2 or 3 of them will cook dinner each night, making a variety of rice, pocho, matooke, and cassava, so everyone gets their preferred meal at least once a week. Unlike most college age girls their age in the western world, these girls get their weekly groceries at the market spread on the docks of Lake Victoria. 

We popped open a few liters of soda, a favored treat here, and savored our lunch. There’s nothing quite like sharing time and food together that develops relationships and makes memories. Each girl was overflowing with excitement to show me their photo albums. They each had one or two albums of a variety of pictures from their families to their friends to their past school time activities. And they explained each and every picture to me, as I asked questions about their modeling poses, why they describe their friends as ‘humble’ or ‘stubborn’, and the ages of their family members. First of all, I have yet to find a Ugandan lady that doesn’t like to pose. When a camera appears, they break out their best poses. Secondly, they taught me that when they describe their friends as ‘humble’, they mean quiet and reserved, and by ‘stubborn’, they mean extroverted and friendly. And lastly, I think that African’s age extremely well and it’s rather difficult telling their ages, so the picture I pointed to asking if that was one of the girls brother’s, brought on tears of laughter, as she explained that it was her father.

We chatted about their anticipation for receiving their secondary school exam scores. We soberly discussed the International Women’s Day 2013 theme of ending violence against women as they opened their hearts, telling me stories as well as dreams. And we ended the afternoon with a round of pictures and laughter. All of the girls decided to walk me down the road to buy some avocado’s and catch a taxi. They explained that it is customary to escort your guest to their mode of transport in Uganda, and not doing so is considered extremely rude. I was glad for the company, appreciated the love they were showing, and hopped on a taxi with all the girls eagerly looking on, excited by the prospect of watching me take public transportation in Uganda.

All in all, I’d say it was a pretty spectacular day.

Welcome Esther Jr.!

Esther Jr. is one fired up young lady, and quite the chatterbox. She lights up the Sseko workshop with her passionately delivered opinions, but makes sure that she’s always on task and focusing on her work at the same time. Esther Jr. loves playing sports and spending time with her friends.

Esther Jr. lives with her aunt and uncle, but loves visiting her mother whenever she gets the chance. Esther Jr. is particularly proud of her country because it is known as the Pearl of Africa, with the source of the Nile and Lake Victoria in its abundance of natural beauty.

Esther Jr. wants to attend university and study Accounting and Finance. Her dream is to be a bank manager and give out loans to people.

Welcome Jackie Sr.!

Jackie Sr. has a big heart for her family and her friends. She loves to interact and take care of children, and gets lots of practice with her younger siblings. Jackie Sr. is inspired by her mother who gracefully bears every situation with humility and patience.

Jackie Sr. is a delight to have on the strap team here at Sseko, and we love seeing little glimpses of her caring nature and her humorous side.

Jackie Sr. wants to attend university and study Social Work and Social Administration. Ideally, she will be able to combine her love of people with her love of music.

Welcome Brenda!

Brenda is a friendly young girl, who dreams of being a gospel singer. “When I become a singer, I will wear fancy dresses, but not skimpy ones,” she says. Brenda likes to sing and read novels. Her favorite book is Romeo and Juliet. A natural romantic? We think so.

Brenda’s parents have always motivated and encouraged her. Her mother attended and completed university, which inspires Brenda to work hard in her studies. In 2009, Brenda was diagnosed with kidney failure. Brenda managed to continue her studies, all while dealing with the pain and treatments for her diagnosis.

She is excited about being a part of the Sseko program, and the friendships she has already gained. Brenda wants to attend university and study Accounting. She dreams of becoming an Accountant, and maybe a gospel singer on the side. She also dreams of having a loving and stable family.

“It’s hard to be a mother in Uganda,” Aunt Sarah explains. “I have to worry about providing for my children for their school fees, transport and when they fall sick. I am a single mother and my ex-husband does not help me with providing for the children. It’s hard. But when I look at my children, I am so proud. My eldest daughter resembles me, which makes me very proud. It’s good when you teach your children, and they reach their goals. Also, when you get older, they can take care of you.”

Aunt Sarah sheds a contrasting light on being a parent in Uganda. While tough to navigate the waters of single parenting in a third world country, Aunt Sarah, like so many parents around the world, is extremely proud of her children and has big dreams for their future. Parenting in Uganda differs amongst families, but the overall view of family is much different than the Western mindset. In Uganda, family is a very organic thing, involving the extended family and often the entire village. Many children grow up with aunts and uncles, cousins, or even close friends. Families welcome children, whether orphaned or suffering from dire circumstances as a result of poverty, gladly into their care and raise them as their own.

In many families, the parenting falls to the eldest children, with the parents having passed away or are both working hard all day long and away from the home. And with nearly half the population of Uganda consisting of youth, the task of parenting keeps falling to the next in line. Parenting ‘how to’ books are basically non-existent, so parenting tactics are just passed down from generation to generation. In Uganda, every adult is responsible for every child. If a stranger passes by and sees your child misbehaving, they have every right to punish them. If a child receives spankings as a punishment, they know not to run home and tell their parents because more often than not, their parents will give them additional spankings.

There are many challenges parents are facing in Uganda, as well as globally. Poverty, gender inequality, illiteracy, disease, divorce and domestic violence are a few of the factors negatively influencing parenting. Parenting and provision are associated as a family matter, and children are equally affected. With the slim opportunities in the current Ugandan job market, when an individual does gain employment, they are expected to share their earnings with the entire family, so the head of the household may not be the one providing for the family. Aggie, a young professional, also explains that as a child “you definitely have to be seen and not heard.” Speaking up in an adult conversation is not accepted, and not until you reach university age are your opinions and thoughts valued as an adult. 

Children in Uganda are sole property of their fathers, and take on their fathers names, religions and land, no questions asked. The mothers have little say, even though they are obviously a huge part of bringing the children into the world and raising them. For a long time in Uganda, a very high percentage of the time, boys were favored above girls. It was commonly believed that if a man did not produce a boy, then he wasn’t considered a real man. Fortunately, some of the beliefs affecting the gender inequality in Uganda are slowly changing.

Aggie continues to tell us about her childhood and how her parents raised her. “I grew up with two stepmoms at different times, but I liked both of them. I think I’m very lucky. They treated me like their own daughter. My dad wasn’t around all the time but wasn’t gone so much that I missed his presence in my life or felt neglected. He travelled a lot for work. His rule for his wives was: “If you’re tired of my kids, leave. Because my kids are my life.” I met my birth mom when I was in high school. I didn’t feel a void in my life growing up without her, or a real big desire to meet her because my family had always given me everything I needed. It was awkward at first but now it is very natural and I’m glad that she is a part of my life now.”

A universal truth, is that most parents, economic status, race, religion, and all other factors aside, love their children and want what’s best for them. And even with the many challenges parents in Uganda face, this truth is ever as true for them.

Welcome Juliet!

Juliet, confident in her comedic skills, greeted me for the very first time with a joke about monkeys. She is one funny girl, and loves to make people laugh. “I don’t like to see people in a moody place, so I tell jokes to improve their spirits.”

And what an inspiring girl. She is the first one in her family to have finished high school. Juliet likes to play volleyball and make friends. Even though she hasn’t travelled to other countries, she’s confident that Uganda’s beauty is a unique and wonderful quality. Juliet is inspired by her mother, who as a single mother, manages to provide for all her needs.

Juliet wants to attend university and study Logistics and Procurement. She wants to work with a Ugandan company when she has finished studying.

Welcome Lillian!

Lillian is a social lady, always making friends. She believes, “the friends that you have, help you.” Lillian likes to cook, and her favorite dish is chicken and rice. Lillian enjoys the camaraderie at Sseko, as well as being part of a team.

As a young girl, Lillian did not have enough money to attend school so she would sit on the side of the road and ask her friends for their school books so she could copy their notes and continue learning. The headmistress at her local school heard of her dedication to learning, and allowed her to continue her studies at school for free.

Lillian wants to attend university and study Procurement. Her dream is to build a home for street children.

Welcome Dorine!

Dorine loves writing. Dorine loves to eat fish. And Dorine loves how beautiful her country is. The firstborn of a small family, Dorine is a quiet, contemplative girl. Dorine’s inspirational role model is her stepmother. “She is very nice and is the one who has inspired me the most. When I was still young, I thought all stepmothers were bad, but she has proved me wrong,” Dorine says.

Dorine loves to dance, and she chuckles about a time in her childhood when she spied on a group of boys dancing. After being caught and reprimanded by the headmistress, she was made to clean bathrooms for the rest of the day. “It was worth it,” she says smiling.

Dorine wants to attend university and study Human Resource Management. She wants to be an HR Mangaer and form an organization that provides support to Ugandan youth.

We like to celebrate birthdays in Uganda. In fact, since extensive birthday celebrations are not common here,

we take extra time to make sure our Sseko women are recognized and honored.

The first Monday of every month we have a party for the month’s birthday girls.

We have Ugandan cake, that is generally rather dry, and certainly not as sweet as an American confection.

It is cut into pieces, piled high onto a plate and passed around for each person to take a piece and eat with their hands.

Oh and there’s dancing and singing! Always dancing and singing! Here’s a video that will give you a little taste of the Ugandan birthday song:

Celebrating Birthdays in Uganda

Welcome Jackie Jr!

Jackie Jr. is from a very large extended family. After the death of her mother in 2008, Jackie Jr. has been living with her guardian, who she calls her auntie. “My auntie is so good to me. She’s like a relative. I aspire to have a heart like she has.”

Jackie Jr. had lost hope after her mother’s death, because she had no money for school fees, which is why she is so thankful that she was accepted into the scholarship program to study.

Jackie Jr. likes making friends, loves her country and dazzles us daily with her beautiful smile. Jackie Jr. wants to attend university and study Microfinance. Her dream is to combine Microfinance and ministry and become a pastor.